I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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