So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
