Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.

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(310): View more from California

Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

(339): View more from Massachusetts

Oh yeah that.

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(716): View more from New York

An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready

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(661): View more from California

It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

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(516): View more from New York

I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night

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(260): View more from Indiana

Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?

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