just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So many bounce houses so little time
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
