I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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