Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
