Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
