my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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