Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
