Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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