Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize