I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
love makes seman taste better
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
