She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
