We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
