if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
