She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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