after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm at about main and main street
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
