Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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