He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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