dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize