some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
even my farts smell like vagina
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
These tits shall not be calmed
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize