I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
