What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
whose parrot is this?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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