Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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