my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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