Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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