oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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