this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
