perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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