Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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