His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
