piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Randomize
