We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
