This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i believe in u and ur pee
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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