My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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