Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Your cock deserves a montage
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
