the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
