he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize