remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
