What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I am naked and annoyed.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
