It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
