i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
