She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
