Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
