he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
