Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
