We won't sleep together?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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