The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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