seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
