I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We smell like vodka and hangover
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
