my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
