This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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