i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
