So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
