Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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