She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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