real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
