I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
