Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
