Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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