just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
