just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
