This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
