found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
