her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
