But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
