nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
